The amazing story of two 40-something women on the path to matrimonial bliss

It just keeps getting better...

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Trading Places

Tonight, I am home--baking bread, cooking pork ribs that were first well-rubbed with garlic, salt and freshly ground peppercorns, and then roasted in a spicy mango barbecue sauce.  I am making some smashed parsnips and potatoes too.  I am reading, doing some other chores and generally taking care of little domestic-y things that I enjoy.  Tonight, Teri is out tabling at the her second event this weekend. While I worked in the garden yesterday and played with the chickens--she was at a workshop doing her best to be an awesome board member.  I feel a little guilty, I feel a little like I might be missing out--but I don't feel enough of either to give up my evening at home baking bread and roasting ribs...

One of the truths Teri likes to make very clear is that I don't speak for her.  I have tended to be a bit more public in my work and volunteer stuff, but she has done a dandy job of finding her own passions and causes.  We've been known to tackle some projects together, but lately, I think we've both enjoyed my moving into the background a bit and making room for her to take up the sash, so to speak!

Sometimes, I think the secret to life is to just listen to the yearnings and tantrums of the soul--it pulls us in the directions we need to go.  For me, there have been times when that means a public face, a seat on a committee or board, or deep involvement in the problems of the world.  Other times, those yearnings are for more creativity, problem-solving in a more immediate sphere, learning a new skill or task, or just participating in the simplest pacing of a day.  Sometimes, it's her turn and sometimes, it's my turn--I think we both sort of groove on the reality that in our relationship, we get to shake it up, wear different hats, and no one gets stuck playing one role for long.

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