Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Repeated attempts to contact the last of the non-rsvp-ers have yielded a couple responses (thank you) but there are still a couple dozen folks unaccounted for. Teri and I have decided that come deadline day, that's it--we'll just go with the numbers we have. And we are striving not to take anything personal at this stage even though we are vulnerable, exhausted and stressed. We don't have any control anyway--the requested solid-color dresses have become come-as-you-are; the seating chart is a moving target with additions, subtractions, break-ups and the like; and the stress of knowing I may have to cover work stuff on the Wedding day despite attempts to the contrary for nearly a year are weighing us down. Even if our two main mantras are "Whatever" and "It is what it is" does not mean that two gals have not become a bit worn down by reality.
Work stuff, neighborhood stuff, family stuff, personal stuff--this is the reality of not only weddings but of marriage. The bridal magazines show glowing young brides surrounded by color-coordinated perfection--but this has nothing to do with real life. Real Life is personal emotional upheaval that tends to catch us off guard, tending to family dynamics, being there for our kids no matter how old they get, house hunting at the most inopportune time, dealing with energy-sucking people, discrimination, economics, politics, weather, getting sick, and myriad other unglamorous realities. this is also the stuff of Weddings, I'm here to tell you. Weddings may look pretty perfect on glossy magazine pages but they are a messy microcosm of the merging of two different worlds.
So, we're tired, Teri and I--we aren't sleeping particularly well and yet we are trying to take things one day at a time. I've managed to get a bit sick in the midst of all this Life stuff and we are reminding ourselves that commitment isn't really about the ceremony and the celebration. As Teri says, as far as we're concerned, we're already married--Life just gives us practicum for reaffirming our commitment.