The amazing story of two 40-something women on the path to matrimonial bliss

It just keeps getting better...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

What About the Rings?

We watched a video where a group of etiquette-os were debating the drama of Prince William going wedding ring-less.  I suppose that is a big deal to some.  For Teri and I, we are still in the midst of our quest for the rings we will wear as wedding bands and I can assure you, there has been much chat, debate and searching as we try to find the perfect "symbols" of our commitment.

I have mixed feelings about wedding rings and symbols in general.  When I asked Teri to marry me, I also asked her if she wanted an engagement ring.  She did and she fell in love with a wonderful silver ring designed and made by a local artisan.  It is etched with bark-like lines and has an inset black diamond.  As for me, I wanted some sort of engagement ring, but I wanted something simple.  Mine is a small silver rope ring designed by the same artist.  I plan to wear it along with whatever band(s) we end up settling on for the actual ceremony.

We have investigated traditional bands--leaning toward silver or white gold since those are the metals that we both like to wear at this point in our lives.  We even investigated other metals like tungsten carbide--going so far as to try some on in a jewelry store (we decided it was quite heavy and most of the ring designs were far too masculine for our taste.)  We have debated whether to go with matching, similar, different--you name it, we have discussed this whole wedding band topic in detail!

I could have easily been talked out of wedding bands--that is how ambivalent I feel about them.  I think for me, they are somewhat of a leftover hetero symbol but I have been open to re-inventing the custom to fit who Teri and I are as a couple.  For Teri, she doesn't have the same ambivalence and she knows that she wants some sort of a wedding band.  I can shift my thinking to imagining the wedding band as a symbol of commitment and unending love (as opposed to possession and status) but like many elements of this journey to the ceremony, it is an expanding process.

Recently, we have been looking at hand-crafted wooden rings--I am especially smitten by those made by recycled wood and taken with the warmth and earthiness of the rings I've seen.  I have never had a wooden ring before and that adds to the specialness and the uniqueness of having one for a wedding band for me.  AND, since each one is made individually, they might be similar and from the same piece of wood, but they would be different and unique.

No decisions have been made...there will be rings, but the quest for the wedding bands continues...

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