About a week ago, I had lunch with an old friend and while discussing our pending nuptials, he offered to help; he further offered to help with the cooking. He is a fellow foodie who has a particular fondness for cooking meat. I casually suggested that maybe he'd like to make a ham or two and he thought that sounded like a fine idea. In confirming with him yesterday for one of my handy dandy spreadsheets of tasks and taskers, he declared that not only would he cook the hams, but he wanted to "procure" them as well--I think he said that he couldn't think of a better wedding present than pork!
Whoopidee doo! Teri and I think it very sweet (and not of the honey glaze type of sweet either) and we mused that it adds to the community feel that we so want for our celebration. In addition to being a wonderful gesture, it is also a good lesson for ME in letting go. After the warm fuzzies of soaking up our friend's offer, I turned to Teri and said "This means that I have to let go on how it is cooked and it will be someone else's recipe instead of mine..."
"Are you going to be okay with that?" Teri asked. Well, now, I am going to have to be and what a good lesson in letting go and letting others do what they do well.
Isn't this the crutch of the tug between control and community?! In order to experience and participate in joy of friends, family, and receiving, one has to let go of the pull to be in control. And doesn't that come back to trust? If I want to live in harmony and connection, then I have to let other people do what they do and be who they are and learn to just say "thank you" with an honest appreciation.
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