The amazing story of two 40-something women on the path to matrimonial bliss

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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Music, Shoes and Magic

While I am quite determined to get married in my bare feet, I got to thinking that I'd like to have a pair of sandals--possibly red, probably shiny, and definitely flat--on hand in case I decide I don't want to spent the entire evening of our ceremony in bare feet. It seemed a simple enough quest, but so far, I've tried on fifty pairs of shoes (give or take) and haven't found the perfect sandals for me.  I did try on these sassy patent red pumps and while they were bold and girly, Teri commented that I could definitely aerate the lawn if I wore them around the garden for any length of time.

I found just the sort of sandals I imagined--but they only came in colors I didn't want.  I found just the sort of shiny red I dreamt of, but the shoes were not me.  Anyway, the quest continues and gives me yet another self-imposed detail to fuss over.  Because, of course, there aren't nearly enough details to tend to for the next three months as it is!

Yesterday, Teri and I finally got to meet our harper!  We've been trying to set up a meeting to talk about music, let him see the yard and actually establish a face-to-face working relationship.  Yesterday afternoon, he came waltzing in our front door sideways with his harp strapped to his back.  What a surprise and a delight to have him set it up in our living room and play for us while we thought about what sounded good for our ceremony.  It felt a big magical, I must confess, and since Teri and I are both fans of Celtic music, hearing some of the tunes he played so beautifully on the harp made us quite emotional and teary.  What a perfect choice for us!

When we were making decisions about music a few months ago, we debated whether to splurge on a musician or use recorded music.  As with any wedding, the budgeting process comes down to priorities.  We told ourselves that we we would use the following measuring stick: When we look back on our wedding day, what are going to be the things we remember and what will end up not mattering?  We decided that things like what sort of glasses (plastic or glass?) we used wouldn't make memories for us, but the music would.  Then, as we evaluated referrals and possibilities, the idea of a harper playing in the garden rose to the very top.  Now that we have met him and heard him play, we are so excited that he will be a part of the ceremony!

What we didn't realize was that hiring a professional musician would actually help us to move this plannng process to a whole new level.  As Noah (the harper) commented yesterday, he's been a part of far more ceremonies that we have and he had all sorts of questions, suggestions and considerations to get us thinking.  We are now aware that we need to turn our loose ideas about the ceremony into a definite script--with timing and ques and such worked out as best we can. While we won't know for sure until we get to the rehearsal the night before the wedding, we do need to get going on how the "event" will stage.  In chatting with Noah, Teri and I both realized that we are doubly blessed in that my sister will be officiating and she has nearly three decades of acting and directing experience (this little fact put Noah at ease as well, I think.  When he heard that the two "whatever" lesbians were not going to be in charge once the ceremony starts, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.)

Standing in the yard and figuring out where the musician would be, where Teri and I would stand, how we might approach the vow-saying spot and imagining things like where the sun would be and how to make sure there is parking for Noah, made us further realize what a fantastic, intentional and magical process this actually is.  Now, if I could only find the perfect pair of red sandals...

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