The amazing story of two 40-something women on the path to matrimonial bliss

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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wedding Worry in Dreamland

Things seem organized and manageable in my waking life when it comes to Wedding Planning Land, but lately my dreams seem to be sharing a different story--now that we have less than three months to go, my subconscious is working overtime...with worry.

The last couple mornings, I have woken from stressful dreams full of chaos and wedding details gone awry--tablecloths that can't be found, important tasks that were mysteriously forgotten.  In my dreams I have been scrambling to find people to help at the last minute or looking out over a sea of broken tables.  Alice's version of Wonderland had nothing on Kori's version of Weddingland!

I suppose it is to be expected but I find it odd that seemingly composed daytime ME can give way to completely unprepared and wacked-out, doodle-headed ME in my dreams.  Perhaps this is simply a Wedding version of the test-in-school-while-unprepared-and-naked dream that many of us have found ourselves plodding through in our subconciouses.  Perhaps it serves a purpose in helping me to work out my worries and fears around our big celebration--but I don't like it!  Mostly because in my waking life, I might feel a desire to get organized and a case of the nerves that comes and goes, but I hadn't realized I really had any worries and fears until my sleeping brain took over.

So far, the dreams I have been wrestling with are about details--not lack of love.  (Whew!) Teri hasn't left me at the Tim Burton-esqe altars my mind has invented and neither one of us has changed our minds.  Instead, we have had to serve everyone peanut butter and crackers because we forgot to prepare the food and, in one dream, my non-English speaking Chinese mother gave away all the dozens of linen tablecloths I've been collecting because she didn't know how else to express her disapproval of the union (my actual mother in this lifetime is neither Chinese, nor does she speak any language except English but I liked that I invented additional layers of diversity for myself.)

I've been trying to channel what I know of Jung from college Psychology courses, but I have one of those personalities that tends to simplify and distill instead of over-complicating situations.  What is going on really?  I think that our Wedding is a big deal with lots of planning details and my brain is occupied with every day things like work and life during the day--at night my subconscious gets to run wild with wacky worry!

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